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Patterns that repeat, and how to change them.
Most relationship struggles are less about who is right and more about the pattern two people fall into. These resources help you name that pattern and talk about the hard things.
Where to start
The pattern is the problem.
In couples work we often look at the cycle between two people rather than at one person’s faults. The tools below help you notice your own part in a cycle, set clearer boundaries, and approach difficult conversations with more care.
A tool to keep
Notice your cycle.
A printable, fillable cycle map to help you name the pattern that shows up between you and the people you love. Many people use it before, or between, sessions.
From Dr. Akua
Hear it from me.
Listen
- Relationship Series: Difficult Conversations, Intimacy, and HealingPodcast · Andrea OwenHow to have the conversations that are hardest to start.
- How to cultivate healthy relationshipsPodcast · Kate AnthonyWhat it takes to build connection that lasts.
Watch
- Relationship tipsVideo · The Portia Show, Fox 5Short, practical tips for the people closest to you.
Books
Worth your time.
- Hold Me Tightby Sue JohnsonThe EFT book for couples: why connection breaks down and how to rebuild it.
- Drama Freeby Nedra Glover TawwabA guide to managing unhealthy family relationships.
- Set Boundaries, Find Peaceby Nedra Glover TawwabA practical guide to saying what you need and keeping to it.
- Come Togetherby Emily NagoskiThe science of lasting sexual connection in long-term relationships.
- Come As You Areby Emily NagoskiHow stress, context and safety shape desire.
A note on these resources. Shared for general information and education. These resources are not a substitute for therapy or medical advice, and a link to another site is not an endorsement of everything on it. In a crisis, call or text 988, or call 911.
Begin
Ready to talk it through?
Reading can open the door. Therapy helps you walk through it. Schedule a consultation to see if we are a good fit.